Today I am feeling the spirit drain out of my body as the days lengthen and my flare has slowly re-emerged to tighten its grasp on my life. I don’t expect you to understand this, nor to even care. Because I’ve seen your true colors. Compassion is something you are unable to cultivate. Besides, why would I be so naïve to think that human lives are more important to you than your salary?
Because, you, dear health insurance company, breathe money.
Your only basic need is an influx of capital and today we are fighting because, for me, health comes before wealth. Like I said, we don’t have a great relationship. This time I paid you the money you demanded, and I was left on the curb without you. Was the money not enough this time? What more do you want from me??
I am sitting here six weeks after I was told by one of your worker bees that all the T’s have been crossed and the I’s have been dotted throughout my list of responsibilities to gain your help. I released a sigh of relief when I was told that the new year brought no changes to my plan and in turn my access to medical care that I depend on. Then to be stabbed in the back a few days later by your letter of termination in the mail. How nice of you.
Your hunger for my cash was satisfied and I expected to have no further disagreements. However, I was sorely mistaken.
I don’t have my medicine that I need to take once a month, it’s been over 5 weeks since my last dose and I am feeling it. I have another med infusion coming up next week and I hope you can get your shit together enough to spare me the loss of understanding there also. Not only the loss of understanding that I thought we both had but the agreement that for money I can have my health condition guaranteed to simmer down by the chemicals you help me ingest.
You never gave me a reason why you threw out my request to stay dependent on you for the medicine I need to stay alive. I thought you’d be happy I still need you.
You just decided that I am not worthy of using the help that your sole purpose is to provide. I don’t want to have a relationship with you any longer. But as I’m experiencing now, the one who giveth has equal power to taketh away.
I hate having a chronic illness. Thanks for the reminder that yes, I need you health insurance company. Stop being so mean to me.